I wish I can say this a long time ago, but the truth is growth is an ongoing process. The more you put in the work to learn to know yourself and be the person you are meant to be, the more you will realize how much you do not know!
Growing is hard. Seeds stay in uncomfortable positions so they can someday bloom and turn into a strong, powerful tree. They sit in darkness – wet, squishy, cramped – yearning for the day they get to see the wonderful, warm sun. Some will push, some won’t. Without discomfort, they won’t grow.
The same applies to us. Without discomfort, how do we know we are growing? Discomfort is not a bad thing. It teaches you to be flexible, so you get to learn about different parts of yourselves that previously, you may not even know existed. Discomfort challenges your narratives about yourself, which can be a rather difficult process for some, as it forces you to either embrace the truth, or run away from it.
Not everyone will choose to grow, which is why we have so many adults in adult bodies, yet their mindset and emotions are often younger than that. These are the people in the videos you’d see, throwing a tantrum at customer service reps when their wants are not fulfilled, or they feel slighted for whatever reason. Being able to self-regulate is hard, but it can be done once you decide you want to work on yourself.
I was asked recently if I knew then what I know now, would I have done the same thing? I said absolutely, because without that journey – arduous and painful as it has been – how would I know I would end up where I am today? Or even perhaps, I avoid it and try something else. Maybe I will still be here. We will never know, but that journey to me, as painful as it has been, is worth its weight in gold.
Growth can only grow where there is discomfort. It requires intention, and it is hard work. I sure cried a lot, regretting past decisions, and being angry at my past self for not realizing it then because maybe it would have meant avoiding certain pains.
At the same time, I learned to have compassion for her, because I know she was trying her best with what she knew at the time, and I am very proud of her for not giving up. She kept trying and trying, until one day she realized she deserved better than to be in a subpart situation where it wasn’t serving her anymore, and chose to leave. Sometimes we have to leave the people we love because being around them is not good for us.
The work is hard, but trust me, it is worth it.
You are worth it but first, you must believe in that too.
Flow Like Air 